Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out

Roo recently read that the amount of information in the Sunday paper, today, is equivalent to the amount of information a person was exposed to in a lifetime, a century ago. This is what comes to mind when I think about this past weekend in comparison to a year ago.

Sunday was Phoebe's 9th birthday; Pip's last day before departing for a two-week adventure in the Adirondacks; our dear friends and house guests were heading home to Chicago; and somehow, in between our farewells, cake-baking, and camp-packing, I intended to write Into the Blue. We were supposed to have houseguests from Maine departing Sunday too, but they left on Friday after receiving a text that their daughter had been exposed to COVID at camp.

Our six children (ages 7-12) were gleefully running throughout our house; the adults were watching Wimbledon; and my friend had just finished saying how nice it was to be together with nothing to do except catch-up (this was the first time we had seen eachother in person since 2019) when her watch pinged, and she vociferously said, "Are you f#@$ing kidding me?" As the news sank in, our Friday afternoon quickly shifted from one of leisure to one of angst and uncertainty. Should our friends leave? Would our other friends be able to fly home on Sunday? Would Pip be able to go to camp on Monday? What's the cancellation policy if Pip is exposed to COVID? One parent in each family started scheduling PCR and rapid tests for their children while the other parent looked up CDC guidelines, called camps, airlines, and caregivers. Our friends asked their children to put masks on. Hide-and-seek abruptly ended, and our children flocked around us: "Why do we have to wear masks?" "Mommy, are you worried?" "What's going to happen?" "Do we have to leave?" "What if Pip can't go to camp?" What if we're not allowed on the plane?" "Will I be OK if I have Covid?" "What if I spread COVID?" "Can you get COVID if you've had the vaccine?" Our children, acutely aware of the energy shift in our house, waited for our answers, but, once again, we didn't have them. While the other parents dealt with the logistics, I took our clan of kids into another room and dealt cards for an anxious game of Gin.

When it was decided that our friends would leave early, there were meltdowns and tears. Tending to our children helped pacify our own disappointment and fear. It was yet another big "PICNIC CANCEL"! I'm happy to report that over the course of the next 4 days, test after test, came back negative, negative, and negative, again and again. By Sunday, we were exhausted by the what-if discussions, coming up with plan b, and having to make judgement call after judgement call about the next best step. Although we managed to have a nice time with our Chicago friends, the weekend was a grating reminder that: 1) COVID is still here; and 2) COVID still sucks.

I called my friend who left early to check in with her: "How are you?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she said, "but clearly, we're doing too much."

"Oh my gosh, don't beat yourself up," I responded, "We're all doing the exact same thing: sending our children to camp, visiting friends and family we haven't seen in over a year, and forgetting that COVID still exists!"

But maybe she's right. Maybe we are ALL doing too much, too soon? Didn't we promise ourselves we were going to try living differently post-COVID? I know my head is spinning trying to re-balance all the stuff I was doing this time last year (nurture myself, my marriage, our children, our dogs, our chickens, my business, our land, and our house) plus all the other stuff I used to do too (commute, chauffeur, extra-curricular activities, host and attend social events, and travel). All in all, it is truly lovely to be out and about again (I feel much more like myself), but we must not forget to take into account the stress that comes along with being together again, without governed boundaries, no matter how welcome or anticipated our reunions.

COVID is still a concern that can pop up at any moment (as it did for us this past weekend); there's also the common phenomenon that occurs when we've been apart from our loved ones for a long time: when our reunions result in sadness or anger because the lost time/disconnection is suddenly tangible; there's the familiar pressures to say yes, to appease others; and there's our collective fear of missing out and/or making up for lost time. After saying goodbye to Pip yesterday, I can also attest to the heartache (albeit absolutely necessary) of being apart from the ones we have been with, every day, since March 2020. With more to manage on the outside, it's important to pause and consider how this affects our inside. Now is a good time to hearken back to some of last year's greatest lessons: go gentle, remember less is more, and focus on what's important/regenerating rather than non-essential/depleting.

But I do wonder, after reading the Sunday Times, is it ever possible to feel completely fulfilled by the Monday Times again?

As always, thank you for reading,
Georgia

P.S. A few things:

1. Our next Blue Light Discussion is Wednesday Aug 4 at 630 PM EST. We will be discussing the film The Wisdom of Trauma featuring Dr. Gabor Mate. The film will be broadcasted 24/7 between July 28 and August 1, and can be viewed from any computer or personal device. Please register for our discussion ahead of time.

2. Our next Blue Light Classroom is Monday, September 13 at 630 PM EST. Does your inside voice match your outside voice? Are you able to act on your intuition/trust your gut? Are you able to effectively voice your opinions, ideas, thoughts and objections? Can you easily discern between your truth and someone else's? In this Blue Light Classroom, you will learn tangible tools to help you know, speak and walk your truth. Sign up now to reserve your spot as space is limited in our classroom.

3. Our next Blue Light Book Club title is Somebody's Daughter: A Memoir by Ashley C. Ford. We will be discussing the book on Wednesday, September 22 at 630 PM EST; this gives you plenty of time to finish the book so order your copy now! We would love to have you join our discussion!